I made this album to remind me of the many fun and amazing times I have had at SCAS, and also as a reminder that it now will be part of my past, but never, ever forgotten!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
A picture story of the day
Well, I go up, and showered,
Then said Hi to the ducks!
Then made some scrambled eggs for breakfast!
Next, I watched the sun rise a little bit over the city.
And then admired my North jacket a little on my way out the door.
Here sits my car, waiting for me to take her away on a call.
All I need for a good day's work
Joey and I took over the extra desk...Yay Junior Paramedics!
Then after work, I brought Jacobs shirt to him...I didnt get the mascara stains out. fail.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Kaycee's Senior Pictures
Kaycee asked me to take her seinior pictures for her. I was so excited to take them! We had a lot of fun.
Some of the pictures are a little grainy-looking...I have yet to figure it out.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Monday, April 20, 2009
Price?
What is the price of a friendship? I have always considered the friendships I have to have been priceless. I treasure my friends and hold them in high esteem. But it seems I have been thrown into a position to either pick my friends, or pick the life i have been working for the last 2 years. Apparently I cant have both. I personally refuse to pick. If I don't, am I ruining both? Probably. But is it worth it to have one without the other? I guess so, because I have been put in this situation by another person who had to choose. It sucks, but my days of trying to be pleasant are apparently over.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Expectations
What is it in human nature that causes us, usually normal and carefree individuals, to have, no, to SET expectations? Why on earth do we put ourselves through the misery of hoping, wishing and wanting things to happen, turn out, or come true? It is pure agony. Unnecessary torture.
Here is what happens when we make expectations:
You find something, something that is enticing and new, different from the norms that you are used to. This thing, whether an idea, a person, a job, is so amazing that you cant get it out of your head. Thoughts and images of it are burned into your brain. Then you realize that there is no way this thing that you have found could become yours or turn to work in your favor. maybe its just not in the cards. But you still want it, think about it, let it consume your thoughts and distract you from the normal day to day activities. Then, out of some sort of miracle, this little dream or idea or person or job or whatever it could possibly be shows up, and it's like your dreams have come true.
You are elated! You cant imagine life being any better! But then something happens, that job doesn't work out, dreams and ideas that were once grand don't seem so grand anymore, that person changes. And the expectations you had, the ones that once had you so distracted, they are all just a broken puzzle scattered on the floor.
You want nothing more than to piece everything back together the way it was. You try, but as it seems the most important pieces are missing, or got chewed up by the dog, or ripped up by the lawn mower. Still there, but never able to be what they once were.
Where do you go from here? Do you buy a new puzzle and start all over again? Is it worth it to rebuild the broken pieces?
Here is what happens when we make expectations:
You find something, something that is enticing and new, different from the norms that you are used to. This thing, whether an idea, a person, a job, is so amazing that you cant get it out of your head. Thoughts and images of it are burned into your brain. Then you realize that there is no way this thing that you have found could become yours or turn to work in your favor. maybe its just not in the cards. But you still want it, think about it, let it consume your thoughts and distract you from the normal day to day activities. Then, out of some sort of miracle, this little dream or idea or person or job or whatever it could possibly be shows up, and it's like your dreams have come true.
You are elated! You cant imagine life being any better! But then something happens, that job doesn't work out, dreams and ideas that were once grand don't seem so grand anymore, that person changes. And the expectations you had, the ones that once had you so distracted, they are all just a broken puzzle scattered on the floor.
You want nothing more than to piece everything back together the way it was. You try, but as it seems the most important pieces are missing, or got chewed up by the dog, or ripped up by the lawn mower. Still there, but never able to be what they once were.
Where do you go from here? Do you buy a new puzzle and start all over again? Is it worth it to rebuild the broken pieces?
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Success!
Hello Folks!
As you all know from my previous post, I passed my medic test, and right now I am working my first paramedic shift! So far, so good, as there havnt been any calls. :-( and I am guessing that it might be kind of dead because the first half of the weekend was busier than all get-out.
I have everything worked out for my trip to Japan! I have a new camera on the way and my tickets have all been purchased, and I only have 12 more days before I leave!
Here is a picture of Kansai International Airport, where I will be flying into to meet Jacob.
The airport is built on a man-made Island 5km off the shore, and is home to the longest airport terminal in the world!
I am not sure what I will be doing when I get there, but I will post pictures and let you know!
Wishing you all a happy March! Much love,
Kayla
As you all know from my previous post, I passed my medic test, and right now I am working my first paramedic shift! So far, so good, as there havnt been any calls. :-( and I am guessing that it might be kind of dead because the first half of the weekend was busier than all get-out.
I have everything worked out for my trip to Japan! I have a new camera on the way and my tickets have all been purchased, and I only have 12 more days before I leave!
Here is a picture of Kansai International Airport, where I will be flying into to meet Jacob.
The airport is built on a man-made Island 5km off the shore, and is home to the longest airport terminal in the world!
I am not sure what I will be doing when I get there, but I will post pictures and let you know!
Wishing you all a happy March! Much love,
Kayla
Sunday, February 15, 2009
The day has come
One day that I was begining to have serious doubts that would ever arrive is finally here. The day I pass my medic test. I am officially a Paramedic.
Here is an excerpt from a post that I never got around to posting earlier this month. (for ease, I am just combining them both into one)
I am so relieved to have taken and passed the test. It is like a thousand pounds lifted off of my shoulders. So now what? I guess I am off into the real world. Working. Paying of loans (boo!) and just living life I guess! Which I am totally and completely okay with.
I start my first official paramedic shift this coming Saturday, and while it isn't much, it is the beginning of what I hope and pray will be an awesome and fun and challenging career.
Thanks to everyone who helped me with classes, who helped me stay sane, who helped me with monetary issues, and everyone who just made me laugh on days that I wanted to quit. I appreciate everything you had and have to offer!
Love always, KK
Here is an excerpt from a post that I never got around to posting earlier this month. (for ease, I am just combining them both into one)
2-3-09:
"Two years and six months ago I began what I would come to know as two of the most challenging, stressful, and rewarding years of my life to date. Paramedic school. Yet after all that work, all that dedication, it all comes down to one test. One weakness that I, for some reason, cannot overcome. It is so stressful and heartbreaking to know that people are counting on me and think that I can pass this test when I don't. I technically only get one more chance. One more time to prove myself. I have put the pressure on myself, that didn't work. I was confident in myself, that didn't work. So whats left? Half-ass it like I did everything else? Quitting isn't an option, but the though and ease have been so tempting lately..."
I am so relieved to have taken and passed the test. It is like a thousand pounds lifted off of my shoulders. So now what? I guess I am off into the real world. Working. Paying of loans (boo!) and just living life I guess! Which I am totally and completely okay with.
I start my first official paramedic shift this coming Saturday, and while it isn't much, it is the beginning of what I hope and pray will be an awesome and fun and challenging career.
Thanks to everyone who helped me with classes, who helped me stay sane, who helped me with monetary issues, and everyone who just made me laugh on days that I wanted to quit. I appreciate everything you had and have to offer!
Love always, KK
Sunday, January 11, 2009
A year in review
Well 2008 was a crazy busy year. I started out working and it seems that except for one week in July, I never really stopped! January to May was a very high-stress semester, as I was almost done with college. The kicker is that I was doing Paramedic clinicals, so I was working anywhere from 80-100 hours a week (sometimes, more than that even) and only getting paid for about 24 of those hours. It was a long long five months, but I got everything done, and graduated from my Paramedic program! Then it was summer! I wanted to be a paramedic before I was 20, so here comes a trip to Wisconson Rapids, WI for my practical test, in which I passed all the stations the first time through! But when it came to taking the written test, I didnt do so well. I wound up taking it again in late July, and again, did not pass.
Jacob and I went to Summerfest in Milwaukee, WI at the beginning of July. We had an absolute blast, and our year long friendship turned into a relationship in the middle of July. Towards the end of August I moved up to Bemidji State to start on my nursing classes and on September 1st Jacob got on a plane and flew to Japan to study for 9 months. When it came time to register for classes again for spring, I ran into some problems getting into the classes I needed, and decided to transfer to the technical college in Bemidji, but could not start classes until fall of '09. This lead to me moving back to Morris.
Great-Grandma Roberts passed away on Dec. 6th. That sucked. A lot. She was the most amazing woman I have ever know, and I am glad that she is no longer suffering or in pain. I find more and more that she has taught me things I didnt even know she was teaching me. Today, for example, I am cleaning my room and instead of shoving all the extra plastic garbage bags into another one, I found myself folding them all nice and neat, like she had me do. She taught me so many wonderful things.
To close out the year, I , again, found myself working. Sitting at SCAS thinking that it was going to be a quiet, boring New Year, and the dee-doo's ring out, and we go out on a call which got turned into a Hot Load with a helicoptor! That is, we brought the patient out the the airport and met the helicoptor and instead of them shutting off the blades, they just kept them running, so here I am, standing under running helicoptor blades loading a patient into the chopper so they can just take off. It was a fabulous way to close out the year.
There were a lot of friendships made, a few lost, and lots of new experiences! 2008 was a pretty good year, but Im banking on 2009 to be even better!
Jacob and I went to Summerfest in Milwaukee, WI at the beginning of July. We had an absolute blast, and our year long friendship turned into a relationship in the middle of July. Towards the end of August I moved up to Bemidji State to start on my nursing classes and on September 1st Jacob got on a plane and flew to Japan to study for 9 months. When it came time to register for classes again for spring, I ran into some problems getting into the classes I needed, and decided to transfer to the technical college in Bemidji, but could not start classes until fall of '09. This lead to me moving back to Morris.
Great-Grandma Roberts passed away on Dec. 6th. That sucked. A lot. She was the most amazing woman I have ever know, and I am glad that she is no longer suffering or in pain. I find more and more that she has taught me things I didnt even know she was teaching me. Today, for example, I am cleaning my room and instead of shoving all the extra plastic garbage bags into another one, I found myself folding them all nice and neat, like she had me do. She taught me so many wonderful things.
To close out the year, I , again, found myself working. Sitting at SCAS thinking that it was going to be a quiet, boring New Year, and the dee-doo's ring out, and we go out on a call which got turned into a Hot Load with a helicoptor! That is, we brought the patient out the the airport and met the helicoptor and instead of them shutting off the blades, they just kept them running, so here I am, standing under running helicoptor blades loading a patient into the chopper so they can just take off. It was a fabulous way to close out the year.
There were a lot of friendships made, a few lost, and lots of new experiences! 2008 was a pretty good year, but Im banking on 2009 to be even better!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Never would have thought
As you can tell, I like lists...lists for things I need to do, lists of things I need to buy, lists of things I need to take with me, lists of things I have done, even lists of things I thought I would never do.
So here are some things that I never imagined I would be doing/have done:
1. Paramedic Class.
2. Work as much as I do. (Lets face it, I was a lazy kid)
3. Graduate from college and go to another one. (I always figured one would be enough for me)
4. Buy my own car (This kind of goes with that work thing, and I mean buy my own car while still in college)
5. Have an amazing boyfriend like I do ;-) (this goes with the "dont get your hopes up" thing.)
6. Be preparing to travel. To Japan. NEVER thought I would go there!
7. Take Chinese.
8. Fail the medic test. twice.
9. Live in a 5.5 X 16 foot space. (that's one of me wide by three of me long...in height)
10. Have the chance to stop a persons heart with chemicals, electrify someone in the name of medical help, drill a hole in someones leg to save them with fluid resuscitation, shove a tube down a persons throat to breath for them, cut a hole in a persons neck to breath for them, staple a kids head together, help set a broken arm, stitch up an eyebrow, and poke people with needles, all while enjoying (not delighting in, but enjoying) my job (and getting paid to do it).
Im sure there are more items that I will or should add to this list. I hope it will never stop growing!
lala
So here are some things that I never imagined I would be doing/have done:
1. Paramedic Class.
2. Work as much as I do. (Lets face it, I was a lazy kid)
3. Graduate from college and go to another one. (I always figured one would be enough for me)
4. Buy my own car (This kind of goes with that work thing, and I mean buy my own car while still in college)
5. Have an amazing boyfriend like I do ;-) (this goes with the "dont get your hopes up" thing.)
6. Be preparing to travel. To Japan. NEVER thought I would go there!
7. Take Chinese.
8. Fail the medic test. twice.
9. Live in a 5.5 X 16 foot space. (that's one of me wide by three of me long...in height)
10. Have the chance to stop a persons heart with chemicals, electrify someone in the name of medical help, drill a hole in someones leg to save them with fluid resuscitation, shove a tube down a persons throat to breath for them, cut a hole in a persons neck to breath for them, staple a kids head together, help set a broken arm, stitch up an eyebrow, and poke people with needles, all while enjoying (not delighting in, but enjoying) my job (and getting paid to do it).
Im sure there are more items that I will or should add to this list. I hope it will never stop growing!
lala
Monday, December 1, 2008
My favorite things
I have compiled a list (a short list) of some of my favorite things about winter time! Lets face it, winter pretty much rocks.
1.) Being able to see my (and everyone elses, Jacob) breath
2.) When snowflakes get frozen to my eyelashes
3.) Glittens!
4.) When the temperature is below zero and you take a huge breath in through your nose and your nostrils freeze shut for a 10th of a second.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, thank God, so has black friday...enough people were trampled/beaten/shot that we need to hold another Thanksgiving. But now, now! we can frolic and romp in the cold snowy winter time that is upon us!
1.) Being able to see my (and everyone elses, Jacob) breath
2.) When snowflakes get frozen to my eyelashes
3.) Glittens!
4.) When the temperature is below zero and you take a huge breath in through your nose and your nostrils freeze shut for a 10th of a second.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, thank God, so has black friday...enough people were trampled/beaten/shot that we need to hold another Thanksgiving. But now, now! we can frolic and romp in the cold snowy winter time that is upon us!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Adventure
Dear Jacob,
This evening I was thinking about how big of a difference there is in my sense of adventure vs. yours. Its huge! You talk about tenting around Japan for two months over winter break and I freak out at the mere thought. Until I met you, I never thought about traveling at all. As you know, I hate not knowing where I am. (but I kick ass at directions!) why not travel? why not go see as much as I can? So while this post is very short, it is just a simple thank you for inspiring me to go places I never thought I could or would.
hugs and kisses,
lala
This evening I was thinking about how big of a difference there is in my sense of adventure vs. yours. Its huge! You talk about tenting around Japan for two months over winter break and I freak out at the mere thought. Until I met you, I never thought about traveling at all. As you know, I hate not knowing where I am. (but I kick ass at directions!) why not travel? why not go see as much as I can? So while this post is very short, it is just a simple thank you for inspiring me to go places I never thought I could or would.
hugs and kisses,
lala
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Obstacles
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
-Franklin A. Clark
I found this quote a while ago, and used it a lot during medic school. Now I am thinking about this quote for more recent times. It feels like with everything I do, there is some sort of silly resistance, constantly pushing and making things difficult. I wanted to take a self-guided study class so that I can work in the afternoons, and I have to get 7 different signatures. I want to go home and be with my family over Christmas vacation, but I am scheduled to work for most of it. I want to go to Japan to visit Jacob, but I have to work in order to get there. I cant tell work to shove off so I can see my family, and I cant say that I would rather work than be with them, just so I can go to Japan.
If I do save enough money, is now the right time to go? or should I pay off my bills and loans and wait until I have a more stable income? I know what I want, but in this case what I want to do, and what needs to be done are, sadly, two very different things. I am trying to decide whether I want to splurge and go on what probably will be a once in a lifetime chance for me, or if I want to stay and be responsible. :-s
These are some pictures that I took while I was walking around downtown last weekend or so. Nothing special, just Bemidji.
If I do save enough money, is now the right time to go? or should I pay off my bills and loans and wait until I have a more stable income? I know what I want, but in this case what I want to do, and what needs to be done are, sadly, two very different things. I am trying to decide whether I want to splurge and go on what probably will be a once in a lifetime chance for me, or if I want to stay and be responsible. :-s
These are some pictures that I took while I was walking around downtown last weekend or so. Nothing special, just Bemidji.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Out Cold
"Well lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot of drinking and a lot of thinking. And I have come to some conclusions..." ok, well I havent been drinking, but I HAVE been thinking. Mostly about this medic test. It seems like even going to school now isnt worth it if I cant pass that test. I have been studying like mad recently, and yet it still feels like nothing. GRRRR! I just need to vent out some anger....Here I am, sitting at a good school with (technically) a good future. And all I can think about is this stupid test.
So I ask myself "Why does this mean so much to me?" and here is what I come up with. (I know, I have probably said this to almost everyone, though various bits and pieces of conversation) When I started going to medic school I didn't want to be a paramedic, I was still afraid of being an EMT. I was only there because I wanted to go to college and I couldn't get into any nursing programs. There were SO MANY times that I wanted to quit. I hated the pressure, all that information coming at me so fast. And then when we would run scenarios in class I had to be in charge, and I had to know what was going on, and I had to treat the problems correctly before they caused bigger problems. There were always so many other people watching. Focusing only on me and what I was doing. And not only that, but when I was done they all got to tell me how badly I did! I wanted out of there so badly. I hated people judging my actions and thoughts. Then one day I was studying at the garage and a call went out to an accident. They wound up being short on crews and Nicole walked into the classroom and said "If they need another rig, its going to be you and I" and I was thinking "NO WAY, Jose! You are nuts! I have only been on 3 calls! and I couldn't even touch the pt then because I technically wasn't old enough to be an EMT!" Nicole, Joey and I wound up taking a third truck up to the hospital and doing truck cleaning and making sure everything was in order for a transfer if they needed one. That was the first time I ever had the thought and feeling of "hey, this is actually fun, I like this, I can do this"
It was because of that incident (and Joey's constant pushing and prodding to the point of me wanting to stab him) that I wound up applying for a job with SCAS and getting hired. I absolutely love it so much now. I feel competent as an EMT and enjoy the job and the people I work with. However, I don't feel competent as a medic. I don't feel like I could get through a complicated call. But after all the crap that we had to go through with Mesabi, I want to pass this test kind of as a way of shoving it in their face. I know it makes them look good, but the whole time it felt like we were set up to fail. And so far, I have proven that pretty well. ;-) As if there wasn't the first two times, there is defiantly now SO MUCH riding on this test this time. It took me a long time to work back up to a positive state this time to want to take it again. I don't know what will happen if I don't make it this time. I just don't know.
kk
So I ask myself "Why does this mean so much to me?" and here is what I come up with. (I know, I have probably said this to almost everyone, though various bits and pieces of conversation) When I started going to medic school I didn't want to be a paramedic, I was still afraid of being an EMT. I was only there because I wanted to go to college and I couldn't get into any nursing programs. There were SO MANY times that I wanted to quit. I hated the pressure, all that information coming at me so fast. And then when we would run scenarios in class I had to be in charge, and I had to know what was going on, and I had to treat the problems correctly before they caused bigger problems. There were always so many other people watching. Focusing only on me and what I was doing. And not only that, but when I was done they all got to tell me how badly I did! I wanted out of there so badly. I hated people judging my actions and thoughts. Then one day I was studying at the garage and a call went out to an accident. They wound up being short on crews and Nicole walked into the classroom and said "If they need another rig, its going to be you and I" and I was thinking "NO WAY, Jose! You are nuts! I have only been on 3 calls! and I couldn't even touch the pt then because I technically wasn't old enough to be an EMT!" Nicole, Joey and I wound up taking a third truck up to the hospital and doing truck cleaning and making sure everything was in order for a transfer if they needed one. That was the first time I ever had the thought and feeling of "hey, this is actually fun, I like this, I can do this"
It was because of that incident (and Joey's constant pushing and prodding to the point of me wanting to stab him) that I wound up applying for a job with SCAS and getting hired. I absolutely love it so much now. I feel competent as an EMT and enjoy the job and the people I work with. However, I don't feel competent as a medic. I don't feel like I could get through a complicated call. But after all the crap that we had to go through with Mesabi, I want to pass this test kind of as a way of shoving it in their face. I know it makes them look good, but the whole time it felt like we were set up to fail. And so far, I have proven that pretty well. ;-) As if there wasn't the first two times, there is defiantly now SO MUCH riding on this test this time. It took me a long time to work back up to a positive state this time to want to take it again. I don't know what will happen if I don't make it this time. I just don't know.
kk
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Halloween and other fun fun!
Dear Jacob,
This last week went by so fast, and so much going on! Alyssa and I went shopping today and when we were at the mall she found this outfit and thought I should wear something similar like it for Halloween....I kindly told her no, as my leg MIGHT fit into it.
We continued shopping, it was a good time! Then we watched Young Guns and Poisidon in her room and feasted on left-over cheesecake *Delicious*
I am still contemplating on going to Itasca tomorrow...I want to really badly! But it is super windy, and no one else can come with :( They wont fit in my car. So we will see what happens in the morning I guess!
Technically I start orientation to my job on Thursday, so that's exciting! I just hope that we can get everything figured out with the whole "flexibility" issue. I dont think there will be a problem at all, but sometimes I wonder. ^_^ I hope you are well and I look forward to pictures of your bike and other fun things!
hugs & kisses
lala
This last week went by so fast, and so much going on! Alyssa and I went shopping today and when we were at the mall she found this outfit and thought I should wear something similar like it for Halloween....I kindly told her no, as my leg MIGHT fit into it.
We continued shopping, it was a good time! Then we watched Young Guns and Poisidon in her room and feasted on left-over cheesecake *Delicious*
I am still contemplating on going to Itasca tomorrow...I want to really badly! But it is super windy, and no one else can come with :( They wont fit in my car. So we will see what happens in the morning I guess!
Technically I start orientation to my job on Thursday, so that's exciting! I just hope that we can get everything figured out with the whole "flexibility" issue. I dont think there will be a problem at all, but sometimes I wonder. ^_^ I hope you are well and I look forward to pictures of your bike and other fun things!
hugs & kisses
lala
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
More pictures of fall
Dear Jacob,
Well I spent yet another evening down by the lake. It is just so beautiful and so easy to just get lost in the outdoors. I decided what I am doing for your Christmas present! You are going to love it SO much! I wish Christmas was tomorrow because I am so excited! Other than that, I had a good day, and I hope you are feeling better! (Your mom informed me that she thinks you ate some bad cabbage. Its totally possible, but it just sounds funny...)
Oh yeah, I was looking at all this glorious camera equipment today. I can wait until I can afford it! (which seems like it might be pretty soon if I get this job) Yay! So I was applying some of what I read to my point and shoot (not quite as amazing as the digital SLR's I was drooling over) but its all I have, so it will have to do for now!
Sunset from my dorm room
The path through the park
The path to the lake
Our ducks are still hanging around! They swam by me again today.
The lake...mysterious looking...
Oh, and I just know how much you love mushrooms...so here is your fungus fix, haha.
Enjoy your week!
lala
Well I spent yet another evening down by the lake. It is just so beautiful and so easy to just get lost in the outdoors. I decided what I am doing for your Christmas present! You are going to love it SO much! I wish Christmas was tomorrow because I am so excited! Other than that, I had a good day, and I hope you are feeling better! (Your mom informed me that she thinks you ate some bad cabbage. Its totally possible, but it just sounds funny...)
Oh yeah, I was looking at all this glorious camera equipment today. I can wait until I can afford it! (which seems like it might be pretty soon if I get this job) Yay! So I was applying some of what I read to my point and shoot (not quite as amazing as the digital SLR's I was drooling over) but its all I have, so it will have to do for now!
Sunset from my dorm room
The path through the park
The path to the lake
Our ducks are still hanging around! They swam by me again today.
The lake...mysterious looking...
Oh, and I just know how much you love mushrooms...so here is your fungus fix, haha.
Enjoy your week!
lala
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Two of my Favorite ladies!
The last weekend that I was home, I happened to be blessed with not only the presence of my family, but also Jess and Jason and their daughter, Lilly. We had a little photo shoot at the house, then we went to visit Grandma Roberts and did another! (slightly against Grandmas wishes)
I think this one is my favorite! Its just so sweet and I love the expression on Grandmas face, and also how you can tell Lilly is smiling back at her. Its almost like Grandma is telling her a secret.
I think this one is my favorite! Its just so sweet and I love the expression on Grandmas face, and also how you can tell Lilly is smiling back at her. Its almost like Grandma is telling her a secret.
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