As you can tell, I like lists...lists for things I need to do, lists of things I need to buy, lists of things I need to take with me, lists of things I have done, even lists of things I thought I would never do.
So here are some things that I never imagined I would be doing/have done:
1. Paramedic Class.
2. Work as much as I do. (Lets face it, I was a lazy kid)
3. Graduate from college and go to another one. (I always figured one would be enough for me)
4. Buy my own car (This kind of goes with that work thing, and I mean buy my own car while still in college)
5. Have an amazing boyfriend like I do ;-) (this goes with the "dont get your hopes up" thing.)
6. Be preparing to travel. To Japan. NEVER thought I would go there!
7. Take Chinese.
8. Fail the medic test. twice.
9. Live in a 5.5 X 16 foot space. (that's one of me wide by three of me long...in height)
10. Have the chance to stop a persons heart with chemicals, electrify someone in the name of medical help, drill a hole in someones leg to save them with fluid resuscitation, shove a tube down a persons throat to breath for them, cut a hole in a persons neck to breath for them, staple a kids head together, help set a broken arm, stitch up an eyebrow, and poke people with needles, all while enjoying (not delighting in, but enjoying) my job (and getting paid to do it).
Im sure there are more items that I will or should add to this list. I hope it will never stop growing!
lala
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
My favorite things
I have compiled a list (a short list) of some of my favorite things about winter time! Lets face it, winter pretty much rocks.
1.) Being able to see my (and everyone elses, Jacob) breath
2.) When snowflakes get frozen to my eyelashes
3.) Glittens!
4.) When the temperature is below zero and you take a huge breath in through your nose and your nostrils freeze shut for a 10th of a second.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, thank God, so has black friday...enough people were trampled/beaten/shot that we need to hold another Thanksgiving. But now, now! we can frolic and romp in the cold snowy winter time that is upon us!
1.) Being able to see my (and everyone elses, Jacob) breath
2.) When snowflakes get frozen to my eyelashes
3.) Glittens!
4.) When the temperature is below zero and you take a huge breath in through your nose and your nostrils freeze shut for a 10th of a second.
Thanksgiving has come and gone, thank God, so has black friday...enough people were trampled/beaten/shot that we need to hold another Thanksgiving. But now, now! we can frolic and romp in the cold snowy winter time that is upon us!
Friday, November 28, 2008
Adventure
Dear Jacob,
This evening I was thinking about how big of a difference there is in my sense of adventure vs. yours. Its huge! You talk about tenting around Japan for two months over winter break and I freak out at the mere thought. Until I met you, I never thought about traveling at all. As you know, I hate not knowing where I am. (but I kick ass at directions!) why not travel? why not go see as much as I can? So while this post is very short, it is just a simple thank you for inspiring me to go places I never thought I could or would.
hugs and kisses,
lala
This evening I was thinking about how big of a difference there is in my sense of adventure vs. yours. Its huge! You talk about tenting around Japan for two months over winter break and I freak out at the mere thought. Until I met you, I never thought about traveling at all. As you know, I hate not knowing where I am. (but I kick ass at directions!) why not travel? why not go see as much as I can? So while this post is very short, it is just a simple thank you for inspiring me to go places I never thought I could or would.
hugs and kisses,
lala
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Obstacles
If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.
-Franklin A. Clark
I found this quote a while ago, and used it a lot during medic school. Now I am thinking about this quote for more recent times. It feels like with everything I do, there is some sort of silly resistance, constantly pushing and making things difficult. I wanted to take a self-guided study class so that I can work in the afternoons, and I have to get 7 different signatures. I want to go home and be with my family over Christmas vacation, but I am scheduled to work for most of it. I want to go to Japan to visit Jacob, but I have to work in order to get there. I cant tell work to shove off so I can see my family, and I cant say that I would rather work than be with them, just so I can go to Japan.
If I do save enough money, is now the right time to go? or should I pay off my bills and loans and wait until I have a more stable income? I know what I want, but in this case what I want to do, and what needs to be done are, sadly, two very different things. I am trying to decide whether I want to splurge and go on what probably will be a once in a lifetime chance for me, or if I want to stay and be responsible. :-s
These are some pictures that I took while I was walking around downtown last weekend or so. Nothing special, just Bemidji.
If I do save enough money, is now the right time to go? or should I pay off my bills and loans and wait until I have a more stable income? I know what I want, but in this case what I want to do, and what needs to be done are, sadly, two very different things. I am trying to decide whether I want to splurge and go on what probably will be a once in a lifetime chance for me, or if I want to stay and be responsible. :-s
These are some pictures that I took while I was walking around downtown last weekend or so. Nothing special, just Bemidji.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Out Cold
"Well lately I've been doing a lot of thinking. A lot of drinking and a lot of thinking. And I have come to some conclusions..." ok, well I havent been drinking, but I HAVE been thinking. Mostly about this medic test. It seems like even going to school now isnt worth it if I cant pass that test. I have been studying like mad recently, and yet it still feels like nothing. GRRRR! I just need to vent out some anger....Here I am, sitting at a good school with (technically) a good future. And all I can think about is this stupid test.
So I ask myself "Why does this mean so much to me?" and here is what I come up with. (I know, I have probably said this to almost everyone, though various bits and pieces of conversation) When I started going to medic school I didn't want to be a paramedic, I was still afraid of being an EMT. I was only there because I wanted to go to college and I couldn't get into any nursing programs. There were SO MANY times that I wanted to quit. I hated the pressure, all that information coming at me so fast. And then when we would run scenarios in class I had to be in charge, and I had to know what was going on, and I had to treat the problems correctly before they caused bigger problems. There were always so many other people watching. Focusing only on me and what I was doing. And not only that, but when I was done they all got to tell me how badly I did! I wanted out of there so badly. I hated people judging my actions and thoughts. Then one day I was studying at the garage and a call went out to an accident. They wound up being short on crews and Nicole walked into the classroom and said "If they need another rig, its going to be you and I" and I was thinking "NO WAY, Jose! You are nuts! I have only been on 3 calls! and I couldn't even touch the pt then because I technically wasn't old enough to be an EMT!" Nicole, Joey and I wound up taking a third truck up to the hospital and doing truck cleaning and making sure everything was in order for a transfer if they needed one. That was the first time I ever had the thought and feeling of "hey, this is actually fun, I like this, I can do this"
It was because of that incident (and Joey's constant pushing and prodding to the point of me wanting to stab him) that I wound up applying for a job with SCAS and getting hired. I absolutely love it so much now. I feel competent as an EMT and enjoy the job and the people I work with. However, I don't feel competent as a medic. I don't feel like I could get through a complicated call. But after all the crap that we had to go through with Mesabi, I want to pass this test kind of as a way of shoving it in their face. I know it makes them look good, but the whole time it felt like we were set up to fail. And so far, I have proven that pretty well. ;-) As if there wasn't the first two times, there is defiantly now SO MUCH riding on this test this time. It took me a long time to work back up to a positive state this time to want to take it again. I don't know what will happen if I don't make it this time. I just don't know.
kk
So I ask myself "Why does this mean so much to me?" and here is what I come up with. (I know, I have probably said this to almost everyone, though various bits and pieces of conversation) When I started going to medic school I didn't want to be a paramedic, I was still afraid of being an EMT. I was only there because I wanted to go to college and I couldn't get into any nursing programs. There were SO MANY times that I wanted to quit. I hated the pressure, all that information coming at me so fast. And then when we would run scenarios in class I had to be in charge, and I had to know what was going on, and I had to treat the problems correctly before they caused bigger problems. There were always so many other people watching. Focusing only on me and what I was doing. And not only that, but when I was done they all got to tell me how badly I did! I wanted out of there so badly. I hated people judging my actions and thoughts. Then one day I was studying at the garage and a call went out to an accident. They wound up being short on crews and Nicole walked into the classroom and said "If they need another rig, its going to be you and I" and I was thinking "NO WAY, Jose! You are nuts! I have only been on 3 calls! and I couldn't even touch the pt then because I technically wasn't old enough to be an EMT!" Nicole, Joey and I wound up taking a third truck up to the hospital and doing truck cleaning and making sure everything was in order for a transfer if they needed one. That was the first time I ever had the thought and feeling of "hey, this is actually fun, I like this, I can do this"
It was because of that incident (and Joey's constant pushing and prodding to the point of me wanting to stab him) that I wound up applying for a job with SCAS and getting hired. I absolutely love it so much now. I feel competent as an EMT and enjoy the job and the people I work with. However, I don't feel competent as a medic. I don't feel like I could get through a complicated call. But after all the crap that we had to go through with Mesabi, I want to pass this test kind of as a way of shoving it in their face. I know it makes them look good, but the whole time it felt like we were set up to fail. And so far, I have proven that pretty well. ;-) As if there wasn't the first two times, there is defiantly now SO MUCH riding on this test this time. It took me a long time to work back up to a positive state this time to want to take it again. I don't know what will happen if I don't make it this time. I just don't know.
kk
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Halloween and other fun fun!
Dear Jacob,
This last week went by so fast, and so much going on! Alyssa and I went shopping today and when we were at the mall she found this outfit and thought I should wear something similar like it for Halloween....I kindly told her no, as my leg MIGHT fit into it.
We continued shopping, it was a good time! Then we watched Young Guns and Poisidon in her room and feasted on left-over cheesecake *Delicious*
I am still contemplating on going to Itasca tomorrow...I want to really badly! But it is super windy, and no one else can come with :( They wont fit in my car. So we will see what happens in the morning I guess!
Technically I start orientation to my job on Thursday, so that's exciting! I just hope that we can get everything figured out with the whole "flexibility" issue. I dont think there will be a problem at all, but sometimes I wonder. ^_^ I hope you are well and I look forward to pictures of your bike and other fun things!
hugs & kisses
lala
This last week went by so fast, and so much going on! Alyssa and I went shopping today and when we were at the mall she found this outfit and thought I should wear something similar like it for Halloween....I kindly told her no, as my leg MIGHT fit into it.
We continued shopping, it was a good time! Then we watched Young Guns and Poisidon in her room and feasted on left-over cheesecake *Delicious*
I am still contemplating on going to Itasca tomorrow...I want to really badly! But it is super windy, and no one else can come with :( They wont fit in my car. So we will see what happens in the morning I guess!
Technically I start orientation to my job on Thursday, so that's exciting! I just hope that we can get everything figured out with the whole "flexibility" issue. I dont think there will be a problem at all, but sometimes I wonder. ^_^ I hope you are well and I look forward to pictures of your bike and other fun things!
hugs & kisses
lala
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
More pictures of fall
Dear Jacob,
Well I spent yet another evening down by the lake. It is just so beautiful and so easy to just get lost in the outdoors. I decided what I am doing for your Christmas present! You are going to love it SO much! I wish Christmas was tomorrow because I am so excited! Other than that, I had a good day, and I hope you are feeling better! (Your mom informed me that she thinks you ate some bad cabbage. Its totally possible, but it just sounds funny...)
Oh yeah, I was looking at all this glorious camera equipment today. I can wait until I can afford it! (which seems like it might be pretty soon if I get this job) Yay! So I was applying some of what I read to my point and shoot (not quite as amazing as the digital SLR's I was drooling over) but its all I have, so it will have to do for now!
Sunset from my dorm room
The path through the park
The path to the lake
Our ducks are still hanging around! They swam by me again today.
The lake...mysterious looking...
Oh, and I just know how much you love mushrooms...so here is your fungus fix, haha.
Enjoy your week!
lala
Well I spent yet another evening down by the lake. It is just so beautiful and so easy to just get lost in the outdoors. I decided what I am doing for your Christmas present! You are going to love it SO much! I wish Christmas was tomorrow because I am so excited! Other than that, I had a good day, and I hope you are feeling better! (Your mom informed me that she thinks you ate some bad cabbage. Its totally possible, but it just sounds funny...)
Oh yeah, I was looking at all this glorious camera equipment today. I can wait until I can afford it! (which seems like it might be pretty soon if I get this job) Yay! So I was applying some of what I read to my point and shoot (not quite as amazing as the digital SLR's I was drooling over) but its all I have, so it will have to do for now!
Sunset from my dorm room
The path through the park
The path to the lake
Our ducks are still hanging around! They swam by me again today.
The lake...mysterious looking...
Oh, and I just know how much you love mushrooms...so here is your fungus fix, haha.
Enjoy your week!
lala
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Two of my Favorite ladies!
The last weekend that I was home, I happened to be blessed with not only the presence of my family, but also Jess and Jason and their daughter, Lilly. We had a little photo shoot at the house, then we went to visit Grandma Roberts and did another! (slightly against Grandmas wishes)
I think this one is my favorite! Its just so sweet and I love the expression on Grandmas face, and also how you can tell Lilly is smiling back at her. Its almost like Grandma is telling her a secret.
I think this one is my favorite! Its just so sweet and I love the expression on Grandmas face, and also how you can tell Lilly is smiling back at her. Its almost like Grandma is telling her a secret.
Fall in -Midji
Dear Jacob,
It seems fall has come upon Bemidji, everything is so beautiful up here! The leaves are have been changing color, the crisp sent of autumn is in the air! So I have been wandering down to the lake and taking some pictures...kind of experimenting with my camera to see what works best.
This was taken from our log around 8 in the evening. Im not sure why the picture looks foggy, there was no fog that night. could be my hated use of flash with outdoor photography.
These pictures were taken just last night as I went out on a walk. It was pretty chilly, but absolutely beautiful! The black thing in the middle of the picture is a loon enjoying the lake.
This tree is right outside my building. It is changing color, but only half of it at a time, its really neat and very pretty.
Just some random Oak leaves lying in a pile. Im excited to get to walk through crunchy leaves!
It seems fall has come upon Bemidji, everything is so beautiful up here! The leaves are have been changing color, the crisp sent of autumn is in the air! So I have been wandering down to the lake and taking some pictures...kind of experimenting with my camera to see what works best.
This was taken from our log around 8 in the evening. Im not sure why the picture looks foggy, there was no fog that night. could be my hated use of flash with outdoor photography.
These pictures were taken just last night as I went out on a walk. It was pretty chilly, but absolutely beautiful! The black thing in the middle of the picture is a loon enjoying the lake.
This tree is right outside my building. It is changing color, but only half of it at a time, its really neat and very pretty.
Just some random Oak leaves lying in a pile. Im excited to get to walk through crunchy leaves!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Missing You
Dear Jacob,
I am here studying (yes, still for my psych and Chinese tests) and all of the sudden I just got this immense feeling of missing you. It was like deep in my stomach it was just empty. Not a hungry feeling, just empty. You have been gone for a whole month now! And what a month it has been...
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to not miss you. (as horrible as it sounds) I don't think there is an hour period that goes by that I don't think about you at least once. I wonder what you're doing, what your classes are like. Something reminds me of you, a comment, a place, a smell. In a way it would almost be easier to not think about you at all, BUT what fun would that be? I'll tell ya....No fun. You are so wonderful and smart. I don't feel like I deserve you all the time, but I am glad that I met you and decided that you were friend-worthy! (no matter if nykki and darren claim victory...) Despite my best efforts, your big dazzling smile always gets me!
Happy one month anniversary of being in Japan!
always,
lala
I am here studying (yes, still for my psych and Chinese tests) and all of the sudden I just got this immense feeling of missing you. It was like deep in my stomach it was just empty. Not a hungry feeling, just empty. You have been gone for a whole month now! And what a month it has been...
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to not miss you. (as horrible as it sounds) I don't think there is an hour period that goes by that I don't think about you at least once. I wonder what you're doing, what your classes are like. Something reminds me of you, a comment, a place, a smell. In a way it would almost be easier to not think about you at all, BUT what fun would that be? I'll tell ya....No fun. You are so wonderful and smart. I don't feel like I deserve you all the time, but I am glad that I met you and decided that you were friend-worthy! (no matter if nykki and darren claim victory...) Despite my best efforts, your big dazzling smile always gets me!
Happy one month anniversary of being in Japan!
always,
lala
Realization
Dear Jacob,
Well I have been doing a lot of thinking about our conversation from the other day. The one about finding focus. (Lets be honest, I don't really have a lot to do...lol, just kidding...I am really bad with jokes, sorry for putting everyone through that pain) But I have come to the decision that since I am here and have no other concerns at the moment, I am going to focus only on me. As I say that I feel guilty and kind of mean. I dont usually try to live with the focus being on me. I dont like the spotlight or the attention, it makes me nervous...(gives me the heeebadee-jeeebadees). I have been wasting too much time worring over things that I cannot control, and it has been driving me nuts. I havent been able to sleep, I think and mull things over instead of study, its just a bad deal all around. I havent even been eating that well. (that being said, mom, I still eat, dont worry about that. I just dont DO anything, and therefore am not hungry). which is odd, because everyone knows how much I love food! *Cheesy grin* ^_^
So starting today I went to the campus fitness center and worked out, and I studied and read all the silly psych stuff, and now I am working on Chinese, which is actually fun, unlike forced reading for psych. (haha, I am definatly going to kick the Chinese tests butt!)
I Still feel guilty for some reason about this whole post. But I dont really have anything else to focus on except myself, and honestly, I think its time to actually think about myself for a while. (it sounds so selfish! I really don't like it.)
peace and love,
lala
Well I have been doing a lot of thinking about our conversation from the other day. The one about finding focus. (Lets be honest, I don't really have a lot to do...lol, just kidding...I am really bad with jokes, sorry for putting everyone through that pain) But I have come to the decision that since I am here and have no other concerns at the moment, I am going to focus only on me. As I say that I feel guilty and kind of mean. I dont usually try to live with the focus being on me. I dont like the spotlight or the attention, it makes me nervous...(gives me the heeebadee-jeeebadees). I have been wasting too much time worring over things that I cannot control, and it has been driving me nuts. I havent been able to sleep, I think and mull things over instead of study, its just a bad deal all around. I havent even been eating that well. (that being said, mom, I still eat, dont worry about that. I just dont DO anything, and therefore am not hungry). which is odd, because everyone knows how much I love food! *Cheesy grin* ^_^
So starting today I went to the campus fitness center and worked out, and I studied and read all the silly psych stuff, and now I am working on Chinese, which is actually fun, unlike forced reading for psych. (haha, I am definatly going to kick the Chinese tests butt!)
I Still feel guilty for some reason about this whole post. But I dont really have anything else to focus on except myself, and honestly, I think its time to actually think about myself for a while. (it sounds so selfish! I really don't like it.)
peace and love,
lala
Sunday, September 28, 2008
I get by...
With a little help from my firends!
Dear Jacob,
I want to thank you (and Darren, even Nykki helped a little, so her too) for being there yesterday. Even just listening to me rant about my bad day just made it better. And this song by The Beatles says it all:
What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
and I'll try not to sing out of key
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
What do I do when my love is away
Does it worry you to be alone
How do you feel by the end of the day
Are you sad because you're on your own
No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm,Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love
Would you believe in a love at first sight
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody
I just need someone to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends
Dear Jacob,
I want to thank you (and Darren, even Nykki helped a little, so her too) for being there yesterday. Even just listening to me rant about my bad day just made it better. And this song by The Beatles says it all:
I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends
What would you think if I sang out of tune
Would you stand up and walk out on me
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
and I'll try not to sing out of key
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
What do I do when my love is away
Does it worry you to be alone
How do you feel by the end of the day
Are you sad because you're on your own
No, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm,Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody
I need somebody to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love
Would you believe in a love at first sight
Yes, I'm certain that it happens all the time
What do you see when you turn out the light
I can't tell you, but I know it's mine
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, I get high with a little help from my friends
Oh, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody
I just need someone to love
Could it be anybody
I want somebody to love
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm, Gonna try with a little help from my friends
Oh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes, I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends
I cant believe you almost had me convinced that Darren was over there with you. Your mom thought it was really funny too, when I told her. But like I said before (and I probably will many times again) Thanks for just being there! You are fabulous!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Medic?
Dear Jacob,
I have been trying to study my medic stuff for the past hour or so today. Needless to say, its not going well. I feel like I am spinning my wheels. Its like my car is stuck in a sinking mud hole. The more I try to rev the engine and get my car out, the faster it sinks. When I first started paramedic class, I hated it. I wanted to quit. But I stuck with it, and it turned out that I actually liked it a lot. It forced me to be decisive and think quickly and stand by my decisions. Something I don't think I am usually very good at. But right now, sitting here, studying things that I have studied a thousand times before, I wonder if I am worthy of the job? I wonder what will make taking the test this time any different from the other two times? I doubt my ability, competency, and value that I need to be a medic. This fucking sucks.
I put up with a crappy program and fought through it, even when I thought I couldn't do it anymore. I drove 200+ miles a week the last semester to finish clinicals, and yet, at this point, it all means nothing. And it will continue to mean nothing if I cant pass that damn test. You told me before that I have it in me, and I thought so too, but right now it feels like all that work, all the hoops and tricks and tests and money was all for nothing. Im not looking for you to tell me that I have it in me. I just need to figure out how the hell to get over this hurdle. You'd think it'd be easy after the mountain I had to climb for school. But so far, its gotten me both times. Whats to say it wont the third?
Here are some lyrics to a Matisahu song that I have been listening to, trying to be more positive. (its not working)
Dispatch The Troops - Matisyahu
So I'm sending out an SOS
Fighting with her Ta
She wants out of this mess
And those big city lights
Might brighten up the darkness
You know that I'm tired and you know that I'm stressed
You can't stop me and you can't stop this
You could call the police try to make an arrest
Today is the day that I repossess
Leaving on the first bus that I can get
k
I have been trying to study my medic stuff for the past hour or so today. Needless to say, its not going well. I feel like I am spinning my wheels. Its like my car is stuck in a sinking mud hole. The more I try to rev the engine and get my car out, the faster it sinks. When I first started paramedic class, I hated it. I wanted to quit. But I stuck with it, and it turned out that I actually liked it a lot. It forced me to be decisive and think quickly and stand by my decisions. Something I don't think I am usually very good at. But right now, sitting here, studying things that I have studied a thousand times before, I wonder if I am worthy of the job? I wonder what will make taking the test this time any different from the other two times? I doubt my ability, competency, and value that I need to be a medic. This fucking sucks.
I put up with a crappy program and fought through it, even when I thought I couldn't do it anymore. I drove 200+ miles a week the last semester to finish clinicals, and yet, at this point, it all means nothing. And it will continue to mean nothing if I cant pass that damn test. You told me before that I have it in me, and I thought so too, but right now it feels like all that work, all the hoops and tricks and tests and money was all for nothing. Im not looking for you to tell me that I have it in me. I just need to figure out how the hell to get over this hurdle. You'd think it'd be easy after the mountain I had to climb for school. But so far, its gotten me both times. Whats to say it wont the third?
Here are some lyrics to a Matisahu song that I have been listening to, trying to be more positive. (its not working)
Dispatch The Troops - Matisyahu
So I'm sending out an SOS
Fighting with her Ta
She wants out of this mess
And those big city lights
Might brighten up the darkness
You know that I'm tired and you know that I'm stressed
You can't stop me and you can't stop this
You could call the police try to make an arrest
Today is the day that I repossess
Leaving on the first bus that I can get
k
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Something I've been working on
I was playing with stop-motion photography, and this is what I came up with.
This is my second video, it is better than the first, but you can see the first one at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIpxFk3_klg if you are interested.
Enjoy!
lala
This is my second video, it is better than the first, but you can see the first one at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIpxFk3_klg if you are interested.
Enjoy!
lala
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Tattoo
Here is a picture of the tattoo I want to get! I asked Dad if he would come with me for my 21st birthday and we could both get tattoos. He didn't say no, so I am planning! (unfortunately he didn't readily say yes either) No worries, I will convince him soon enough!
Obviously its not going to be on my wrist, I just haven't decided on the placement yet. But I do have some ideas! (They are all appropriate too, nothing dirty)
God Bless,
kk
Obviously its not going to be on my wrist, I just haven't decided on the placement yet. But I do have some ideas! (They are all appropriate too, nothing dirty) God Bless,
kk
Looking around
Dear Jacob.
Over the last week, I did some exploring and picture taking, and just generally enjoying Bemidji (or, as I like to call it, midji) I rode my bike down to the park by Paul Bunyon and Babe, and went down to the lake on a nice little fishing peir that looks under some bridges that cross the Mississippi River.
This is the main bridge going over the river.
And the support beams for the bridge.
And under the bridge. There was a cute little school of minnows swimming in the sunlight.
The night that I was walking down by the lake (an earlier post) was so beautiful, these are some pictures of the lake and the leaves turning colors.
I am sure I will be finding many more wonderful photo opportunities now that the leaves are starting to change! (plus fall is my favorite season, so I am more inclined to take pictures of it anyway ;)
I enjoyed our Chinese study time, and I hope that we can get together at a more reasonable time for me (1 am usually is a good time, but not this week, lol) So I can actually consiously study with you, we are helping each other out!
Have a good week Pookey-poo,
hugs & kisses,
lala
Over the last week, I did some exploring and picture taking, and just generally enjoying Bemidji (or, as I like to call it, midji) I rode my bike down to the park by Paul Bunyon and Babe, and went down to the lake on a nice little fishing peir that looks under some bridges that cross the Mississippi River.
This is the main bridge going over the river.
And the support beams for the bridge.
And under the bridge. There was a cute little school of minnows swimming in the sunlight.
The night that I was walking down by the lake (an earlier post) was so beautiful, these are some pictures of the lake and the leaves turning colors.
I am sure I will be finding many more wonderful photo opportunities now that the leaves are starting to change! (plus fall is my favorite season, so I am more inclined to take pictures of it anyway ;)
I enjoyed our Chinese study time, and I hope that we can get together at a more reasonable time for me (1 am usually is a good time, but not this week, lol) So I can actually consiously study with you, we are helping each other out!
Have a good week Pookey-poo,
hugs & kisses,
lala
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Enjoying....
Dear Jacob,
This evening I went the most wonderful walk! The temperature outside is at the perfect spot where you would be absolutely comfortable in a t-shirt or a sweatshirt or almost anything. I walked over to the lake and just watched the loons float around, perfectly un-aware that I was watching them. The leaves are starting to change colors already. Some of the maple and oak trees have the beautiful red leaves, its so gorgeous! There was a little bit of a breeze, just enough to carry the crisp sent of fall along and keep the air from being too still. I sat on the log and just enjoyed the perfect late summer night. Sadly there were no ducks flitting around this evening.
When I left my dorm room I did what I usually do, put on a sweatshirt (although it wasnt needed at all) and grabbed my phone, iPod and camera. As I walked I was in my own little state, I pushed the whole college scene out of my mind and let every other stimulation enter. The sent of fall on the breeze, the very slight rustle of the leaves, the loons calling, the bats swooping for bugs. Everything seemed ten times more vibrant and spirited. I gave serious consideration to sleeping out by the lake, it is just so perfect tonight.
I thought about the actions that I went through before I got to where I was. Grabbing my phone, iPod and camera...I had over $400 worth of electronics on me, and yet not one in use. I have taken for granted the wonderful, wonderful world around me, and have replaced partially with a synthetic reality. I dont need my iPod, I dont NEED a phone, I dont need a camera. They are pulling people away from seeing the real beauty in the world around them. That being said, it is very hard NOT to see the beauty up here.
I have a deeper understanding of what you were talking about the other day, how you said that it bothered you that you walked slower than everyone else, but then realized that you enjoy the walk more, and notice more things. Tonight I was able to totally push out any influence of college life, even though I was sitting in the middle of campus, and just think and enjoy the world without interption.
The only thing that would have made it a better night would to have you here, because I know you would have enjoyed it just as much, if not more than, Idid.
hugs & kisses
lala
This evening I went the most wonderful walk! The temperature outside is at the perfect spot where you would be absolutely comfortable in a t-shirt or a sweatshirt or almost anything. I walked over to the lake and just watched the loons float around, perfectly un-aware that I was watching them. The leaves are starting to change colors already. Some of the maple and oak trees have the beautiful red leaves, its so gorgeous! There was a little bit of a breeze, just enough to carry the crisp sent of fall along and keep the air from being too still. I sat on the log and just enjoyed the perfect late summer night. Sadly there were no ducks flitting around this evening.
When I left my dorm room I did what I usually do, put on a sweatshirt (although it wasnt needed at all) and grabbed my phone, iPod and camera. As I walked I was in my own little state, I pushed the whole college scene out of my mind and let every other stimulation enter. The sent of fall on the breeze, the very slight rustle of the leaves, the loons calling, the bats swooping for bugs. Everything seemed ten times more vibrant and spirited. I gave serious consideration to sleeping out by the lake, it is just so perfect tonight.
I thought about the actions that I went through before I got to where I was. Grabbing my phone, iPod and camera...I had over $400 worth of electronics on me, and yet not one in use. I have taken for granted the wonderful, wonderful world around me, and have replaced partially with a synthetic reality. I dont need my iPod, I dont NEED a phone, I dont need a camera. They are pulling people away from seeing the real beauty in the world around them. That being said, it is very hard NOT to see the beauty up here.
I have a deeper understanding of what you were talking about the other day, how you said that it bothered you that you walked slower than everyone else, but then realized that you enjoy the walk more, and notice more things. Tonight I was able to totally push out any influence of college life, even though I was sitting in the middle of campus, and just think and enjoy the world without interption.
The only thing that would have made it a better night would to have you here, because I know you would have enjoyed it just as much, if not more than, Idid.
hugs & kisses
lala
What is your passion?
Dear Jacob,
Today as I was walking back from Chinese class, I began thinking about how two people with such different backgrounds and social skills (although when you think about it, our social skills are very similar) can get along so well. I grew up in a very grounded family, we didn't move very often and I attended school in the same town my whole life, up until my second go at college. As a result, I am afraid of change, afraid of new things. I have friends but only a couple who are very close to me. You moved a lot and had to deal with change all the time, and never knew if you were going to be at the same school for the whole year. Because of that, you are used to change and love to explore and see new things, really get to know your world. You also have only a few close friends but about the same amount as me.
The one thing you have that I don't is a passion. I realized today that I have lots of little things that I like to do, but I don't think really have a passion for anything. I find that really odd because I always say that what I like to find out most about a person is their passion and that a persons passion really defines who they are. You are a gamer, you love playing games of any kind and could get lost for a whole day without knowing it. You get lost in your own little world. I have a lot of things that I like to do, like scrapbooking or biking, but I dont think that I could do any of them for a whole day. I dont think I could immurse myself into something so much that I just get lost. Quite frankly, that makes me really heartbroken.
I think a passion is what really drives a person to live. maybe not so much live, but thrive. It makes a person who they are. So then if I have no passion, who am I? What am I? I cannot answer that question, and that alone scares the hell out of me.
Today as I was walking back from Chinese class, I began thinking about how two people with such different backgrounds and social skills (although when you think about it, our social skills are very similar) can get along so well. I grew up in a very grounded family, we didn't move very often and I attended school in the same town my whole life, up until my second go at college. As a result, I am afraid of change, afraid of new things. I have friends but only a couple who are very close to me. You moved a lot and had to deal with change all the time, and never knew if you were going to be at the same school for the whole year. Because of that, you are used to change and love to explore and see new things, really get to know your world. You also have only a few close friends but about the same amount as me.
The one thing you have that I don't is a passion. I realized today that I have lots of little things that I like to do, but I don't think really have a passion for anything. I find that really odd because I always say that what I like to find out most about a person is their passion and that a persons passion really defines who they are. You are a gamer, you love playing games of any kind and could get lost for a whole day without knowing it. You get lost in your own little world. I have a lot of things that I like to do, like scrapbooking or biking, but I dont think that I could do any of them for a whole day. I dont think I could immurse myself into something so much that I just get lost. Quite frankly, that makes me really heartbroken.
I think a passion is what really drives a person to live. maybe not so much live, but thrive. It makes a person who they are. So then if I have no passion, who am I? What am I? I cannot answer that question, and that alone scares the hell out of me.
Another day
Dear Jacob,
Well the week has gone fast but slow at the same time. (Its handy, but also a pain, lol) I am still a little bummed about the whole plane ticket thing, but I think I may start aiming for spring break if we can match up some time! (I haven't looked into it at all yet, so don't get any hopes up!) On the plus side my Bio test was super easy and I dont have any 8 am class next week! Yahoo!!! (if you could only see the glorious happy dance I am dancing!)
As far as the job search goes, I might have to look at a waitressing job or something. It wouldnt be so bad...I mean its either picking up undigested food and being pleasent to people who are usually in good mental states, or getting the other end (yes, diapers) and having to clean up other bodily fluids from people who are well past their mental prime. When I put it like that I dont know why I am having so much trouble with accepting a waitressing job. :-)
I really like my psych class. probably because I already know most of the info from medic school, and then any extra info are just small details...so I will have lots of time to work and study Chinese, because my other two classes are a breeze! (The unitention of the rhyming makes me happy...)
And here is my happy joke for the day, because the other day I took a really really fast shower, (seriously, I should have a medal for that or something, it was speedy) and this reminded me a little of that.
lala
Well the week has gone fast but slow at the same time. (Its handy, but also a pain, lol) I am still a little bummed about the whole plane ticket thing, but I think I may start aiming for spring break if we can match up some time! (I haven't looked into it at all yet, so don't get any hopes up!) On the plus side my Bio test was super easy and I dont have any 8 am class next week! Yahoo!!! (if you could only see the glorious happy dance I am dancing!)
As far as the job search goes, I might have to look at a waitressing job or something. It wouldnt be so bad...I mean its either picking up undigested food and being pleasent to people who are usually in good mental states, or getting the other end (yes, diapers) and having to clean up other bodily fluids from people who are well past their mental prime. When I put it like that I dont know why I am having so much trouble with accepting a waitressing job. :-)
I really like my psych class. probably because I already know most of the info from medic school, and then any extra info are just small details...so I will have lots of time to work and study Chinese, because my other two classes are a breeze! (The unitention of the rhyming makes me happy...)
And here is my happy joke for the day, because the other day I took a really really fast shower, (seriously, I should have a medal for that or something, it was speedy) and this reminded me a little of that.
lala
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Clowinging around
This is a video of Tim break dancing for us after a couple people expressed our doubt in his true break dancing abilities. The only lesson learned was don't doubt that Tim wont do (or attempt) something you put him up to.
Weekend...
This weekend was my first real weekend at college! It kind of sucked because it rained the whole time, but this evening has been very clear (and cool...down in the low 40's) and I got some pretty pictures of the moon over the lake.
It was a nice weekend though, I was at the Eberts, watching their three little rascals. (and pretty much mooching off their internet and stove, yay for home cooked meals!)
^ This is Toni, the boston terrier (and the only little dog I would ever consider owning)
She is the cutest little deaf dog I have ever come across.
^ This is Morgan and Kelsey, the two yellow labs, also big sweet hearts!
So, I guess my weekend consisted of eating too much food, playing with the pups, and NOT doing school work (which was ok in my book, haha)
It was a nice weekend though, I was at the Eberts, watching their three little rascals. (and pretty much mooching off their internet and stove, yay for home cooked meals!)
^ This is Toni, the boston terrier (and the only little dog I would ever consider owning)She is the cutest little deaf dog I have ever come across.
^ This is Morgan and Kelsey, the two yellow labs, also big sweet hearts!So, I guess my weekend consisted of eating too much food, playing with the pups, and NOT doing school work (which was ok in my book, haha)
Have a great week, hopefully mine is a bit more entertaining.
hugs & kisses,
lala
hugs & kisses,
lala
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Things I have learned...
Here are some things I have learned about being a college student after only being here for three weeks:
1. Stairs do not work if there is an elevator present. I live on the7th floor, and I frequently take the stairs up to my room. The elevators take too long and usually end up stopping on every floor...it takes forever! But there are people who take the elevator to the 2nd floor...that is 20 stairs. That's all, 20. it is 100 stairs up to the 7th. But apparently stairs don't work.
2. If you walk onto the street, all the cars will stop. You defiantly DON'T have to look and see if there are cars coming before you go. I have seen cars swerve to miss people who just wander into the middle of the street without even thinking "hey, there could be big huge steel machines of death driving fast enough to kill me if they hit me."
3. Going to college and not having a job means you can act as immature and "cool" as you want. Mom and Dad are paying for everything right? So why not party and be as stupid as you want to be while you are here?!
I'm sure the list will grow as I am here longer...don't get me wrong, I'm not angry that I have witnessed all these "perks of being a college student." I am actually a bit amused that people who are supposed to be so intelligent can actually act so ignorantly.
1. Stairs do not work if there is an elevator present. I live on the7th floor, and I frequently take the stairs up to my room. The elevators take too long and usually end up stopping on every floor...it takes forever! But there are people who take the elevator to the 2nd floor...that is 20 stairs. That's all, 20. it is 100 stairs up to the 7th. But apparently stairs don't work.
2. If you walk onto the street, all the cars will stop. You defiantly DON'T have to look and see if there are cars coming before you go. I have seen cars swerve to miss people who just wander into the middle of the street without even thinking "hey, there could be big huge steel machines of death driving fast enough to kill me if they hit me."
3. Going to college and not having a job means you can act as immature and "cool" as you want. Mom and Dad are paying for everything right? So why not party and be as stupid as you want to be while you are here?!
I'm sure the list will grow as I am here longer...don't get me wrong, I'm not angry that I have witnessed all these "perks of being a college student." I am actually a bit amused that people who are supposed to be so intelligent can actually act so ignorantly.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Red vs Blue
Dear Jacob,
Today has been an interesting day. (in a scene that it has gone way too fast and has been a little confusing) First off, I got a C on my psych test. and that is what I thought I would get, so I am neither surprised nor sad. Unfortunately I am not happy with it either, because I know I could have done better, but thankfully (or maybe not) there will be a next time. However Chinese is still going great! although she is moving really fast, so I will have to start cracking down on everything. I'm starting to worry that I wont have very much time to study my medic stuff and still do well in my other classes. And how do you determine which is more important? It is a difficult question, and I don't know how to answer it.
ha! I started watching RedVsBlue today, from the very beginning, and it is GLORIOUS! (it doesnt sound as cool from the pink text...) but yes, I think I am starting to show some nerdy-ness. You are rubbing off on me. And props for being able to rub off on me from 7,000 miles away! That is no easy feat, my friend.
hugs & kisses
lala
Today has been an interesting day. (in a scene that it has gone way too fast and has been a little confusing) First off, I got a C on my psych test. and that is what I thought I would get, so I am neither surprised nor sad. Unfortunately I am not happy with it either, because I know I could have done better, but thankfully (or maybe not) there will be a next time. However Chinese is still going great! although she is moving really fast, so I will have to start cracking down on everything. I'm starting to worry that I wont have very much time to study my medic stuff and still do well in my other classes. And how do you determine which is more important? It is a difficult question, and I don't know how to answer it.
ha! I started watching RedVsBlue today, from the very beginning, and it is GLORIOUS! (it doesnt sound as cool from the pink text...) but yes, I think I am starting to show some nerdy-ness. You are rubbing off on me. And props for being able to rub off on me from 7,000 miles away! That is no easy feat, my friend.
hugs & kisses
lala
Saturday, September 6, 2008
A day in Morris: Another photo story (with some more words)
Dear Jacob,
Welcome to my dorm room at Bemidji State University! We are only here for a short time to say a few things. Those things are that I am currently back in Morris for the weekend, and that the drive down here sucked. Why, do you ask? Well because you and I drove those roads way too much before you left and now there are memories and what-not. It will get better over time, of course, but for now, well I am still going through Jacob withdrawal. ;-)
With out further ado, on with the story!
I am about ready to leave my dorm to head to Morris for the weekend. (woohoo) I am wearing Jacob's shirt in this picture only to rub it in that I look better in it that he does!
ok, so once I got to Morris on Friday night my first stop was the China Buffet. It was kind of late, so the food wasnt top knotch, but the lady there was her usual crazy self and was asking my questions at 100 miles an hour. (including if the woman with me was my sister) It wasnt, it was my mom. (and how come my boyfriend wasnt with me) It took me a while to get it across that he was in Japan to study. But after China Buffet, Mom and I went to Libby's!
Mom and jazz bonding on the couch
Jazz and Lib posing for a picture
Jazz showing me some love!
At libby's I found the CUTEST little jar of ketchup I have ever seen! Of course I had to take a picture of it.
Ok, now flash forward a couple 12 hours....
On Saturday, I spent most of the day in my PJ's (my favorite weekend pastime!) and hung out at home, helped mom paint some doors for the entry way.
While we were painting, Tig was lazily enjoying his last few dog days of summer...
This is my super fabulous pjs and crocs...the most obnoxious shoes ever to be made...
Kaycee showed up! (not to help, of course) but she was around for a little bit anyway.
And, of course, you cant forget to check out the tractors when you go back home! Here is Dad's pulling tractor! (the three wheeler)
Then in the afternoon I went to a wedding of some children of my parents friends. (what a mouth-ful) It was a nice little wedding, with all the nice little things that go along with weddings...like cream cheese mints (my favorite!) and those cute little bells (so old ladies and really beefy guys dont break the fine china)
Oops, I forgot this picture was here...I guess this is what you miss from Morris....?
haha,
Welcome to my dorm room at Bemidji State University! We are only here for a short time to say a few things. Those things are that I am currently back in Morris for the weekend, and that the drive down here sucked. Why, do you ask? Well because you and I drove those roads way too much before you left and now there are memories and what-not. It will get better over time, of course, but for now, well I am still going through Jacob withdrawal. ;-)
With out further ado, on with the story!
I am about ready to leave my dorm to head to Morris for the weekend. (woohoo) I am wearing Jacob's shirt in this picture only to rub it in that I look better in it that he does!ok, so once I got to Morris on Friday night my first stop was the China Buffet. It was kind of late, so the food wasnt top knotch, but the lady there was her usual crazy self and was asking my questions at 100 miles an hour. (including if the woman with me was my sister) It wasnt, it was my mom. (and how come my boyfriend wasnt with me) It took me a while to get it across that he was in Japan to study. But after China Buffet, Mom and I went to Libby's!
Mom and jazz bonding on the couch
Jazz and Lib posing for a picture
Jazz showing me some love!
At libby's I found the CUTEST little jar of ketchup I have ever seen! Of course I had to take a picture of it.Ok, now flash forward a couple 12 hours....
On Saturday, I spent most of the day in my PJ's (my favorite weekend pastime!) and hung out at home, helped mom paint some doors for the entry way.
While we were painting, Tig was lazily enjoying his last few dog days of summer...
This is my super fabulous pjs and crocs...the most obnoxious shoes ever to be made...
Kaycee showed up! (not to help, of course) but she was around for a little bit anyway.
And, of course, you cant forget to check out the tractors when you go back home! Here is Dad's pulling tractor! (the three wheeler)
Then in the afternoon I went to a wedding of some children of my parents friends. (what a mouth-ful) It was a nice little wedding, with all the nice little things that go along with weddings...like cream cheese mints (my favorite!) and those cute little bells (so old ladies and really beefy guys dont break the fine china)
Ok, so really this story of a day in Morris is supposed to show you that no matter how much you really miss it back home, its still just the same here as it always has been. (although you didnt spend your time like this when you were here, I am sure that the video games and Nykki and Darren are about the same too) and while its weird to be away (for you and I both) its almost just as good to be away and learning, seeing, and experiencing new things.
Oops, I forgot this picture was here...I guess this is what you miss from Morris....?
haha,
Later babe,
Hugs and Kisses,
lala
Hugs and Kisses,
lala
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
